Attitude of Gratitude

This is something I've been working on living my life by.  Attitude of Gratitude.  I did a group at work on this the other day and it really got me thinking.  We often get so bogged down with the junk in life we forget to look at what is good in the world and the things we are lucky to have.  I know since having Ethan there is much to be thankful for but often I get wrapped up in the chaos of my life as a working mom to a infant that I forget to look at all the things I'm lucky to have.  I know I've blogged on gratefulness before, but I find it helpful to stop and look at the good in life periodically to remind me just how lucky I really am. 

I'm working this weekend and although it's not fun to be at work when the rest of my family is at home for the weekend I'm feeling particularily lucky that I have a husband who is genuinely excited to spend the weekend alone with our son.  Not every dad would find it fun to be at home without help for the weekend with their 4 month old son, however Kevin looks forward to it and for this I'm lucky.  I'm also lucky that he is such a hands on dad.  I know that when I'm feeling overwhelmed and rushed Kevin will be there to pick up any slack he can and help out however I need it.  I'm grateful he is willing to put the needs of our family before his own and be present in our everyday life.  I'm also grateful that he is a wonderful dad and husband.  Ethan and I are pretty lucky we get to call him ours. 

Speaking of work...I'm particularily grateful that I've recently learned I can be part-time.  This is my ideal situation and although I've been struggling with the idea of not making as much money, I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to do both work and stay at home with Ethan.  I'm grateful that I have Kevin to support me in this decision and that he's willing to do whatever it takes to make this work.  I am so excited to spend more time at home with Ethan, to find fun things for us to get involved in, to watch him grow up and reach new milestones, to be able to spend a lot of time with him.  I'm grateful to have wonderful co-workers who truly make coming to work all the more enjoyable and for giving me friendships I have grown to cherish.  I'm also grateful for the work I do.  I often get bogged down with the craziness that is my job, but seeing one patient get it, or tell me I've made a difference...it's what I've always wanted to do.  So although my job is emotionally draining some days, totally frusterating others, I'm grateful to be doing something that I'm passionate about and able to help others.  On days I have trouble remembering why I do what I do, I look back on the cards and notes I've gotten from patients thanking me for caring.  It's wonderful to know that I'm going to get to have a great work-home balance.  I get to do both things I'm passionate about, being a mom and a wife and getting out of the house and doing something for others. 

I am also grateful for our daycare lady Debbie.  She is awesome.  I'm so lucky we found her to watch Ethan.  She has been more than accomodating in our ever changing schedule, willing to work with us and be flexible when work keeps changing.  She also genuninely loves our little guy.  We have a notebook that we keep track of what happens at home and daycare so things get communicated between the two places.  Kevin picked Ethan up from daycare yesterday, so when I got home I read the notebook.  At the end there was a message that made my heart smile.  Debbie thanked us for letting her be a part of Ethan's 1st year and then she said she loves him!  I'm so grateful that we found someone who enjoys spending time with him as much as we do!  It makes going to work easier knowing that he is spending time with Debbie and the kids at daycare who are so excited every time Ethan comes thru the door.  It's great to know that he's learning to socialize with other kids, to be away from home, and he gets to play and have fun all day!

And the thing I'm most grateful for?...Ethan.  I've said a million times before, being a mom is something I've always wanted.  It's the most challenging thing I've ever done and a million times harder than going to work, but it's also a million times more rewarding.  I'm grateful that it didn't take us long to get pregnant with Ethan, that I had an easy pregnancy and I was rewarded with the greatest little guy in the world.  During my pregnancy several people I know experienced loss of a child and I remember feeling so thankful that our little guy was growing and healthy as ever.  Recently I learned that a family friend lost a little boy at 21 weeks and had to deliver him knowing that he wouldn't be joining their family.  I can't even imagine what she is going through, but it definitely made me stop and give Ethan a little tighter squeeze and be so thankful I get to do that every day.  Yesterday morning I forgot I had to be at work later than usual so I woke up at my usual time of 4:30am.  I quickly got ready and then went in to wake Ethan up to feed him before I left.  I thought since I had extra time I would feed him and then maybe crawl back into bed.  Ethan had other plans, he ate and then was wide awake.  I felt so lucky I had the extra time to snuggle him, hold him close, watch him smile, coo, laugh and be generally happy to be awake and spending time with me so early in the morning.  Would I have loved to get more sleep?...Of course, but yesterday morning will be etched in my head forever.  I loved getting to spend some quality time with my little man early in the morning, just the two of us snuggled up on the couch enjoying spending time together.  It's moments like that which make being up at 4:30am seem like the best thing in the world.  I smile just thinking about it. 

So when life gets crazy and things feel out of control.  I'm trying to remember to breathe.  To stop and take a look around.  To remember the things I'm grateful for and shift to my attitude of gratitude.  When I do this, I realize I have everything I've ever wanted.  An awesome, loving, supportive husband.  A wonderful, healthy, happy, growing son.  A family who is with us every step of the way.  I truly am so lucky.