3 months

Ethan,  our little man...you are now 3 months old!  This 3rd month has brought lots of changes, mommy going back to work, you going to daycare, and lots of changes in your behavior and personality.  You are now smiling a ton and even giggling occasionally.  You love to have me kiss your cheeks and neck and blow raspberries on your belly.  I've started flying you above my head and you love it!  You'll laugh and smile at all the funny things mommy does.  Daycare is going great and the kids seem to love you.  The other day they called you baby Fred, I'm still not sure why but the other kids thought it was funny.  We are slowly getting into a little bit of a routine and you're back to sleeping better throughout the night.  You now usually go to bed between 8:30 and 10pm and are much easier to get to fall asleep.  Your latest trend is to wake up around 4am, so mommy usually starts her work days at this time too!  You seem to know when I have a day off and usually wake up more on those nights.  I don't mind so much since I get to take naps with you on my days off.  Napping is going better too.  You usually go down for an hour in the morning and then another hour or two in the afternoon, although you can still be quite the cat napper!  You still nap best while being held, but are getting better at napping for longer in your crib.  You know it's time to go to sleep when we turn on your sea horse and giraffe.  You love to fall asleep listening to both of them and you usually stir for a second when they turn off. 

As far as eating goes you are still breastfeeding.  I've managed to continue to pump and make enough milk, but I also continue to stress about it daily.  I'm still taking the herbal supplements to help my production and I've found eating oatmeal for breakfast helps as well!  I pump in the morning before work and Daddy brings that bottle to daycare.  You usually eat 13-15 ounces while at daycare and so far I've been able to pump that much at work.  I weighed you this week and you were 13lbs 8oz!  Still a little peanut, but you're gaining what you should be.  I guess what we're doing is still working. 

The biggest news this week is that you rolled over for the first time yesterday!  Aleks and Kade were over visiting us and I wanted to show Aleks how much you hate tummy time.  You were crying like usual while being on your tummy, but instead of just crying and being mad, you made yourself roll over from your tummy to your back!  I still can't believe you did it, but Aleks was there to confirm it!  I was so proud of you!  You were pretty proud of yourself too...all smiles afterwards!  I tried to have you do it for daddy, but so far you haven't.  I'm working this weekend and you get to spend the weekend with Dad so maybe you'll show off for him then! 

You continue to amaze us and teach us so many things little man!  We love you so much and can't imagine life without you!!  I'm at work so I can't post your 3 month picture but will do it when I'm at home. 

Back to Work

Well Ethan and I have both survived two days of me being back to work.  I'm guessing he's survived a little better than I did.  I had been dreading this time and it came way too quick.  It's amazing how fast 12 weeks can fly by.  I had jitters like it was the first day of school.  I was scared I wouldn't get any sleep the night before, that I would be late, that I would forget how to do my job and most of all, that Ethan wouldn't do great at daycare or that he wouldn't know who I was when I picked him up.  The sleep part went fine, Ethan slept his usual 4 hours and then I was up an hour and back to bed for 2.  Not a whole lot of sleep, but it's what I expected.  I quickly got ready in the morning and then debated to wake Ethan up to feed him or just pump.  I decided to just pump so I wouldn't be even more rushed to get out the door.  Right as I finished pumping Ethan woke up again, this time Kevin got him up and fed him the bottle I had just pumped.  Then it was time for me to leave for work.  I FELL APART.  I was sobbing as I walked out the door, leaving him was the hardest thing I've done in my life so far.  Kevin reassured me everything would be fine and to just get in the car and keep driving, so that is what I did.  The first co-worker I encountered sympathized how hard it is to come back and I quickly told her I couldn't talk about it.  When I got in my office and saw my closest co-worker Maria, I lost it again.  Good thing Maria is used to seeing me cry!

Kevin got daycare drop off duty and texted me a picture of Ethan all dressed and loaded up in his carseat ready for his first day!  I surprisingly didn't cry at the picture, just enjoyed seeing my little man looking happy and ready to go.  Kevin later sent me an e-mail saying that everything went great and Debbie, our daycare lady had set rules for Ethan with the other kids while Kevin was there.  All of this was reassuring that he is in the best place possible if he can't be at home with one of us.  My work day was crazy so it flew by.  It was so crazy I didn't even get a chance to call and check on Ethan.  The time to pick him up though couldn't come soon enough, I was ready to snuggle my little man and see his million dollar smile.  When I got to Debbie's Ethan was hanging out in a bouncy seat playing with toys looking as happy as ever.  I was hoping when he saw me I'd get a smile, instead he turned his head away from me.  A little piece of my heart broke right there, he didn't smile at me at all, instead he looked away!  After talking with Debbie about the day, I loaded Ethan up and brought him home.  When we got home I finally got to see the smile I had been waiting for all day!  Debbie said that Ethan did great, he took a bottle no problem, took a couple of naps and the other kids loved him.  I was so happy to hear things went great the first day!  Later that night Ethan must have been worn out from daycare because he went to sleep without any problems at 8:30pm!  He usually never goes to bed until 10:30pm, so I'm guessing daycare wore him out!  Day 2 went just as well, except Debbie got to witness Ethan's ability to fight sleep.  He did not want to take a morning nap, but finally did.  I didn't fair as well on day 2.  Work was fine, but I was exhausted when I got home...I'm missing my going back to bed in the morning after I get up and feed Ethan!

Today we are home together as I have the day off of work.  I can already tell that Ethan knows when it's nap time and is much better about going down for naps.  This morning he took an hour nap and I joined him and now he's on hour 2 of his 2nd nap!  It's nice to be able to have some days at home with him still and ease back into work.  Being a working mom is hard, but I know it will get easier.  I'm struggling finding time to pump at work and that is stressing me out.  I want to keep breast feeding after all the hard work I put into it while on maternity leave.  I'm hoping tomorrow at work I'll be able to find more time and the more I get back into it, the easier it will be.

Better go get some stuff done around the house before the little man wakes up!