Week 38

Not a whole bunch to report, but a few things have been happening this week.  Had an appointment with my midwife on Wednesday, nothing new to report there.  Baby swan is head down, I'm dilated to 1cm and he appears to be pretty comfy in his current home.  I was hoping maybe the full moon would make some changes, but no such luck!

I worked last weekend, so I had Monday and Tuesday off this week.  It was nice to have a couple of days off during the week.  I got some errands run, and then caught up on sleep and relaxing.  Trying to fit more of this in before Baby Swan comes!  I also got a much needed massage on Monday morning, now if only I could get one of those every day-life would be heavenly!

Monday evening we met with the daycare lady to sign paperwork and confirm plans, her name is Debbie.  Debbie has kids our age and has been doing daycare for years.  We really like her fairly laid back attitude and the fact that she keeps the group around 4 or 5 kids.  I however felt like crying through the entire meeting with her.  Kevin confirmed that I did in fact look like I was about to burst into tears the entire time.  It's not that I'm worried about leaving Baby Swan with Debbie, I KNOW she will be great.  I went to daycare too, and I loved my daycare lady, I loved the friends I got to play with there and overall enjoyed the experience.  I however can't imagine someone else getting to spend more time a week with my son than I do.  It's not the way I thought it would go.  I thought I could get the best of both worlds, and maybe I will.  For now though...I had to sign paperwork saying he will be there M-F, 7am-5pm.  I know that most months he will get to spend a day a week with Bubba, I also know that it won't be everyday that he is there the entire time.  Logically I know all this.  Emotionally all I can think about is how someone else gets to spend more time with him being awake than I do.  That SUCKS.  I haven't even met the little guy yet and I can't help from tearing up when I think about having to drop him off at daycare, which by the way, Kevin already informed me I will not be dropping him off for fear of non-stop waterworks from me!  I have no idea if I will even have to go through the whole full-time daycare thing, maybe it'll work out and I'll get to go back to work part-time.  Either way Monday was one of the hardest days I've had in a long time, and also one of the many hard days I'm sure I'll have in Baby Swan's life.  For now, I'm focusing on how I get to be the lucky parent who gets at least 3 months off with him once he's here and that no matter what, I still get to be his mom! 

On to brighter news...yesterday I bought the last things of my "must have" list for Baby Swan.  I think we are officially ready for him to come.  I'm sure there are things that we will realize we need, but for now we're ready!  Well...we need to install the carseat bases in the cars, but other than that, we're done.  Our bags are packed and the waiting game continues! 

So this week brought some relaxtion, a little more preparation, daycare finalization, and more waiting.  We are getting very anxious to meet Baby Swan!